HOW TO TAKE CHARGE OF THE OTHER ROOM

REASONS WOMEN DONT ORGASM

Sex may be popular in Nigeria but there are some facts about sex that most of the populace is unaware of. For instance cold feet is probably the reason for lack of orgasm.

What unites us as human beings is an urge for happiness which at heart is yearning for union.

Having an orgasm is natural. So is skipping, for instance. That doesn’t mean you’re born knowing how to skip it means you’re born with the capacity to learn. There was a time when you didn’t know how to skip someone obviously taught you that, apparently you don't even remember,  that's it😉😉
Fortunately for us, science has broken down what it takes to … um … skip.

The process of becoming aroused and having an orgasm is a two-part process: turning on "the ons" and turning off "the offs." We have to  give the brain a lot of sexy stimulation to be turned on by, and  eliminate all the potential threats and other reasons not to be turned on right now.

With that in mind, i will share with you ten reasons (in which i grouped into categories) you're still struggling with orgasm and possible ways you can eliminate them and boom you're about to experience the icing on cake which is so wonderful i tell you. Remember: having an orgasm can be like learning to skip so no worries

THE OBVIOUS:

1. YOU'RE STILL LEARNING HOW.

Just like learning to skip, it comes more easily to some people than others, it takes persistence to learn, and nobody ever really has to, but it sure is a fun game and everybody deserve a chance to try it.

2. YOU BELIEVE THAT'S THE WAY YOU'RE BUILT.
There probably are women who never orgasm, ever in their whole lives. But in my experience, any woman interested enough in sex to want to have an orgasm almost certainly can, given the right context – i.e., enough "activation of the accelerator and letting go of all the brakes".

3. YOU DON’T WANT TO.
Maybe you had a long, hard day and you think its not just worth the effort. Maybe you enjoy the pleasure of arousal all on its own, without the goal of orgasm. And you know what? Maybe you’re withholding your orgasms from your partner because it takes a lot of trust to let go that much, it’s a huge gift to the partner, and it can even catapult a couple into a deeper level of intimacy.

THE ACCELERATOR":
4. You're not “pre-heating the oven.”
orgasm do not just happen, more or less without effort, just through clitoral stimulation. Even the clitoris needs a sexy context; without being turned on, stimulation of the clitoris will just feel weird or even painful. That said … 🏃🏃🏃

5. THEY’RE NOT GETTING ENOUGH CLITORAL STIMULATION.

Women worry about not having orgasms during intercourse, especially. But actually most women don't orgasm from penetration alone. The reason? Intercourse is not a very good way to stimulate the clitoris, and the clitoris is, for most women, the "hokey pokey":
 That said fortify your foreplay game💯💯

6. YOU'RE NOT TAKING ENOUGH TIME.

Orgasms for women actually take longer though it depends on the type of body  (20 minutes is typical, longer is totally normal). Orgasms are like childbirth: they take as long as they take, and each one is different.

THE BRAKES":

7. FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN

Instead of just celebrating the sensations in their bodies, they’re distracted by thoughts like, “What if this is taking too long?” or “What if my partner is bored?” or “What if I’m not even doing this right?” or any of the million other ways that they might be self-monitoring instead of paying attention to pleasure and allowing that pleasure to grow. This also includes potential unwanted consequences that come with a partner, such as risk of STI transmission or unwanted pregnancy.

8. YOU'RE RECOVERING FROM A TRAUMA.

When sex has been used as a weapon against a woman, her brain learns that sexy things (things that activate the accelerator) can also be threats, things that hit the brakes.
Healing from trauma takes patience, self-compassion, and opportunities to experience sexual pleasure in contexts where you feel safe inside your own body. Start on your own,. Once you learn to feel pleasure while you feel safe in your body, you can then add a partner if you like.

9. YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT YOUR BODY.

Even more common than trauma are the body-shaming cultural messages that distract women’s attention. You’re thinking about how your face looks or what the fat on your belly is doing whether or not your cellulite is noticeable. The question to ask yourself when these thoughts emerges is, “Why does it matter?” NO REALLY. WHY?

ANSWER: Because we’ve been taught that only women with “flawless” bodies are allowed to enjoy sex, and if we make faces or have fat on our bodies or otherwise “fall short,” then enjoying sex is against the rules. This is bullshit. It takes time and practice to replace those self-critical thoughts with affection for your body, but the benefits extend far beyond having more and better orgasms. So work on your self love now!!!

10. THEY’RE WORRIED ABOUT THEIR ORGASM.

Oh, the irony. Perhaps the most common difficulty faced by women who struggle with orgasm is the tendency to worry about orgasm, even as their arousal increases. The more aroused they get, the closer they get to orgasm, the more they worry. “What if I don’t have an orgasm?” and “What if I do have an orgasm?” and “Will I even know if I’ve had an orgasm?” and “Are my abs supposed to be shaking like that?” and “Is this what it’s supposed to feel like? Am I sure I like how this feels?”

The solution is to notice those thoughts, let them go for now, and shift your attention, gently and neutrally, to the sensations in your body.  – and the best orgasms happen when we surrender in a context of trust, affection, permission, and acceptance of all the things our bodies are and do.

It’s like skipping. Once you learn how, your body never forgets. And everybody deserves a life so full of joy that they can do it when they want to.

Orgasms happens when we surrender our bodies to sexual arousal!!! Remove all hindrances and have a swell time in the other room😉😉😉